Okay, everyone. It’s a surprise quiz. It was going to be an open book test, but most of the books with the answers have been banned. So, do your best.
1. Which of these are NOT part of the mandated instructions for teaching history in Florida schools?
A. If not for the Holocaust, Anne Frank would never have written a best seller.
B. A benefit of slavery is that many of the slaves learned marketable skills.
C. Both whites and Blacks were responsible for the 1920 Ocoee riot that destroyed a Black community and killed at least 50 Black residents because some Blacks dared to vote.
D. One of the benefits of the terrorist attack on New York on 9/11 is that Rudy Giuliani became to be known as America’s mayor.
2. Which of these tactics is Texas using to discourage immigrants from crossing the Rio Grande?
A. Buoys are being stretched across the river that may drown those trying to swim across.
B. Alligators are being bused in from Florida and dumped into the river near popular crossings.
C. Razor wire is being placed in the river so that it may lacerate the flesh of children trying to cross.
D. Portable generators are being installed along the shore to power toasters that will be thrown into the water.
3. Which of these have been used as a defense for the 16 Michigan residents charged with fraud for falsely identifying themselves as electors for the 2020 presidential election?
A. Hawaii did something sort of, kind of like this in 1960.
B. The Democrats are weaponizing the law, just like the investigation in Georgia where Trump asked the governor to “find” enough votes for him to win the state, and just like the case against Trump for mishandling top-secret documents, and just like the civil case against Trump for raping a woman, and just the lawsuit against Fox for libeling Dominion, and just like the case against Trump for inciting the Jan. 6 insurrections, and just like the investigation of Trump’s hush-money payments to a porn star.
C. Submitting fraudulent elector certificates is a well-accepted form of political protest, and the woman charged from Livingston County has never, ever been convicted of a crime before.
D. Hunter Biden.
4. Which of these are true headlines and which are fake headlines made up by satirist Andy Borowitz?
A. Ohio Republican Jim Jordan subpoenas himself to appear before Congress.
B. DeSantis demands NATO withdraw from Disney’s “It’s ASmall World” Ride.
C. Fox News apologizes for “regrettable flirtation with accuracy.”
D. Marjorie Taylor Greene releases video that criticizes Biden for trying to improve upon successful and popular government programs.
5. Which of these activities are you most likely able to do in Livingston County?
A. Drive down Main Street in Brighton.
B. Display a Safe Place sticker in a school classroom.
C. Attend a fund raiser for Drag Queen Bingo.
D. Attend a fund raiser that promotes “Kids Shootings” as a featured attraction.
6. Which of these numbers is highest for Livingston County?
A. The number of transgender students playing on girls’ high school athletic teams.
B. The number of times that state Sen. Lana Theis hasapologized for claiming that a senate colleague wanted to “groom and sexualize” kindergarten students.
C. The number fraudulent votes discovered to be cast in any of the last four elections.
D. The number of county residents who die annually from opioids.
7. Who was Viola Liuzzo?
A. The lone Michigan resident who was discovered to have purposely cast a fraudulent vote in the 2020 presidential election
B. The highest-ranking woman in the notorious Purple Gang, a collection of bootleggers and hijackers who terrorized Detroit in the 1920s.
C. A Detroit woman who was murdered by Klansmen on an Alabama highway in 1965 because of her involvement in the Selma-to-Montgomery civil rights march.
D. The only woman ever to drive the Zamboni at a Detroit Red Wings game.
8. Which Detroit professional sports team is most likely to end the city’s playoff drought?
A. The Tigers, now in the seventh year of a five-year rebuilding plan. They haven’t had a winning season since 2016, nor won a playoff game since 2013.
B. The Lions, whose recent claim to fame is that they were only horrible for half a season last year. The Lions haven’t won a playoff game since 1991 and haven’t won their division in 30 years.
C. The Pistons, who haven’t had a winning season since 2016and who haven’t won a playoff game since 2008.
D. The Red Wings, who haven’t had a winning season or reached the playoffs since 2016 and who haven’t gotten past the first round since 2013.
Answers: 1. A and D; 2. A. and C; 3. A, B, C, and D; 4. D is theonly true headline; 5. D; 6. D, and it’s not even close; 7. C; 8. B, believe it or not!
