by A grieving woman is receiving widespread support online after revealing that her long-term partner called her “selfish” for expecting him to help with weeknight cooking while she mourned her father’s sudden death.
Her emotional post, shared to the popular Am I the A—— subreddit, paints a picture of overwhelming responsibility, unresolved relationship patterns, and a breaking point brought on by neglect during one of the hardest moments of her life.
A Year of Loss, Stress, and Unemployment at Home
The woman explained that she and her partner relocated back to her home state nearly a year ago. Since then, she has worked full-time in a demanding but fulfilling position — while her partner has been unemployed for more than a year, applying to “about 15 jobs” during that time.
She said the year was already heavy with loss. Her stepmother had died months earlier, forcing her to drive out of state to clean up what she described as a “Grey Gardens-type situation,” all while adjusting to her new workplace.
“I thought that was the most traumatic thing I’d have to do this year,” she wrote.
But several weeks later, tragedy struck again. Her father was hospitalized, and despite her efforts to balance visiting him with full-time work, he was discharged against family wishes. The next day, she stopped by to make him soup — and found that he had already passed.
A Partner Who Complained While She Grieved
In her post, she explained that while her partner was occasionally supportive, he frequently became irritated that he “had to make dinner” during the week. This was particularly painful, she noted, because she had spent 12 years making every family dinner while working full time and serving as the primary caregiver for their son.
When she gently reminded him of this, he grew defensive and emotionally withdrawn.
The woman explained that this pattern was not new — the couple had almost divorced four years earlier over similar behavior. She said she tried repeatedly to communicate compassionately, acknowledging his feelings and thanking him for household contributions, but he remained closed off.
“After a day of needing to report my dad’s death to creditors and my son at dinner cutting me off… they both snapped at me and shut me out,”
she explained.
Breaking Point at the Dinner Table
Feeling overwhelmed, she stepped out for a walk to clear her mind. When she returned, she and her son quickly reconciled. But when she attempted the same with her partner, he refused.
She recounted that he denied her experiences, insisted she was being “unkind,” and resisted any attempt at healthy dialogue.
When she asked him to express his own feelings rather than contradict hers, he responded:
“That’s so f—– up to put pressure on me.”
The argument escalated until he accused her of not caring that he was cooking dinner. Exhausted and emotional, she decided to pack a bag and leave temporarily.
Read Also: Minnesota Warns of Possible Property Tax Spike — What It Means for You
Alone in a Motel, Questioning Everything
“I’m in a hotel now,” she wrote. “Because all I want is to make the people I love feel loved, but now I just feel insane and alone.”
She said that earlier that day, she had finally snapped and questioned why he hadn’t applied for more jobs. She also confronted him about not following through on therapy — something they had agreed on when they decided not to divorce.
Her partner’s criticism that her weekend meals were “just pasta” left her wondering whether she was losing her sense of reality.
“Am I insane?” she asked the Reddit community from her motel room, drinking wine out of a plastic cup and trying to calm herself.
Reddit Responds with Overwhelming Support
The top comments offered clear reassurance — and tough love.
One user wrote:
“He’s been unemployed for a year and complains about having to cook. Then he should get a dang job and pay for dinner instead.”
Another said:
“You seem like a very good woman and you deserve much better than what you have. You’re much better off alone than with someone weighing you down.”
Many commenters urged her to prioritize her well-being, reminding her that grief often exposes the true dynamics of a relationship.
What Comes Next
The woman did not provide an update on her long-term plans, but commenters widely encouraged her to remain in a safe, peaceful environment as she handled her grief and reassessed her relationship.
For more local stories, human-interest reporting, and community discussions, visit mikeandjonpodcast.com.
