by A bride-to-be has sparked a wide discussion online after sharing a deeply personal disagreement with her fiancé over finances, inheritance, and what marriage should mean when it comes to money.
The 37-year-old woman turned to Reddit for advice after a conversation with her fiancé left her feeling unsettled. Recently engaged to a 42-year-old man with a teenage son from a previous marriage, she explained that early discussions about merging finances revealed a fundamental difference in values.
Her fiancé, she wrote, comes from an extremely wealthy background and is expected to inherit tens of millions of dollars in property located in a very high cost-of-living area. Most of that wealth, she said, is already earmarked for his 13-year-old son, an arrangement she has no issue with.
She made it clear that she does not feel entitled to her fiancé’s money.
“I don’t want half of his wealth,” she wrote, explaining that while he offered to combine finances fully, she does not believe she should benefit from assets she did not earn.
The couple had already agreed that if her fiancé were to die first, she would be supported in practical ways, including housing and fixed living expenses. But tensions arose when the conversation shifted to her own estate.
“He Suggested My Assets Should Go to His Son”
According to the post, the disagreement began when her fiancé suggested that her assets should eventually be inherited by his son. The proposal immediately made her uncomfortable.
She explained that she has worked hard to build her own financial stability and intends for her estate to go to her siblings, not her future stepson. All three siblings earn less than $50,000 a year, she said, and are close to her in age.
“I’ve worked hard for everything I have, and I want it to go to my siblings,” she wrote.
The woman emphasized that the couple does not plan to have children together, which made the expectation feel even more unreasonable in her view. While she respects her fiancé’s role as a parent, she does not believe marriage alone should automatically redirect her life savings to his child.
“I really don’t feel like his son should automatically inherit my wealth,” she added.
Clash of Beliefs About Marriage and Money
In the comment section, many users supported her position, questioning why her fiancé would expect her assets to go to his son when the child is already set to inherit a substantial fortune.
One commenter summed it up bluntly: it is “money you worked for and saved, and it should go to whoever you want it to go to.”
The woman later clarified her fiancé’s mindset, explaining that he views marriage as the complete merging of two lives.
“He believes that once you are married, you truly become one unit,” she wrote.
For him, that unity extends beyond shared expenses and daily finances to include long-term estates and inheritance plans. She acknowledged that this belief is deeply ingrained in how he was raised and how wealth has traditionally been handled in his family.
However, she was equally clear that she does not share that philosophy.
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“I don’t want to do that because I want to reserve my estate (and its growth) for my siblings,” she explained.
Update: “We’re Learning Together”
After receiving a flood of responses, the woman returned with an update to clarify her intentions and push back against some assumptions made in the comments.
She stressed that this was an early conversation and not a demand or ultimatum from her fiancé.
“I wanted to know if my feelings were normal or out of bounds,” she wrote.
She also rejected suggestions that her fiancé was trying to control her finances or take advantage of her.
“He is just coming from a place of his ideals and what is normal for him,” she said.
Rather than escalating into conflict, the couple has agreed to seek professional guidance, including outside counsel for estate planning, to help them navigate the issue fairly.
For now, she says, the discussion has become part of a broader process of understanding how two people with very different financial backgrounds can build a marriage without resentment.
“We’re learning together,” she concluded.
Do you think marriage should automatically mean shared inheritance, or should individual estates remain separate? Share your thoughts in the comments.
