by A 19-year-old expectant mother turned to Reddit for advice after her boyfriend allegedly refused to help with household chores — despite insisting she quit her job during pregnancy — and then gave her a “deadline” to clean their home by herself.
From Care to Control
The young woman, who is 25 weeks pregnant, said her boyfriend initially encouraged her to stop working so she could focus on her health. What seemed like a thoughtful gesture soon turned into a controlling dynamic.
She described him as “hygienic but not tidy” — dishes would pile up, trash went untouched, and his clothes often littered the floor. Though he worked full-time, she said she tried to manage the house alone until she became physically and emotionally exhausted.
“After a while of trying to keep up on it all my own, my overwhelmed-ness and mental health completely crashed,” she wrote.
The Strain of Isolation and Pregnancy
The mom-to-be also said she recently relocated to live with her boyfriend and doesn’t have any close friends nearby. His preference to stay home most of the time has left her feeling isolated.
Pregnancy complications like sciatica have made basic cleaning tasks difficult. Even bending or scrubbing causes intense pain, she explained.
“I’ve begged him to help me a little,” she wrote. “For example — help scrub the tub and I’ll do the rest of the bathroom, help me with the dishes and I’ll handle everything else.”
Although her boyfriend initially agreed, she said he never followed through — and later told her she had to finish cleaning the kitchen and bathroom by the next day.
“He Says It All Should Fall on Me”
When she asked for clarification, she said he told her that since he works and she doesn’t, the household responsibilities should be entirely hers.
“I expressed to him that I was confused because he was supposed to help even just for the two smaller but harder on me tasks,” she wrote. “He is unwilling to help at all and claims since he works and I don’t that it all should fall on me.”
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She added that while the rooms weren’t “super horrible,” they were messy enough that cleaning them in one day felt impossible.
Online Reactions: “He Should Be Supporting You”
Reddit users were quick to defend the woman and criticize her boyfriend’s behavior.
“Being pregnant makes it harder to do everything else, especially cleaning the house. The deadline for ONE DAY while being pregnant is just so over the top,” one commenter wrote. “He should at least help you a bit. NTA [not the a**hole].”
Another added:
“The only deadline that matters here isn’t that bulls— tomorrow — it’s nine months from now when the amount of chaos in your lives is going to explode. You guys have nine months to learn how to be a better team, and right now he’s not supporting his teammate.”
Many users urged her to rethink the relationship before the baby arrives, noting that lack of support during pregnancy could foreshadow bigger problems in the future.
The woman ended her post saying she felt “overwhelmed and hopeless” but was grateful for the reassurance from strangers who understood her struggles.
Do you think her boyfriend’s behavior is a red flag, or just a relationship growing pain? Share your thoughts at mikeandjonpodcast.com.
